Yes sir, it looks like it’s a race to the bottom as UKIP, Labour and Conservatives all try to out-UKIP each other. Think you’re tough on immigration? Wait until you see what we have in store. Think you’re tough on benefit scroungers? Wait until we open salt mines and gulags.
Welcome to the latest UK right wing nut job party: the BBP. The British Bastard Party. Britain for the British. Among our policies:
- No foreigners allowed in – unless they are rich. All foreigners to wear a star visible on clothing at all times.
- No dark skinned folk – unless they are rich. All darkies to wear a star – though this may be a moot point.
- No poncy renewable energy program – can’t maintain our tough image as a world power with solar panels and windmills all over the place
- No human rights nonsense – let the free market dictate how people are treated.
- No bank regulations – let the free market do its job, let everyone get rich from currency trading
- No farming – takes up valuable land and they’re all subsidy junkies anyway
- No peace envoys – let’s get the World War II spirit back and gear for permanent war
- No disabled folk eating up benefits – make them contribute, through medical experiments or something
- No welfare – survival of the fittest got the human race this far, who are we to try undoing millions of years of evolution by caring for the weak?
- No nuclear disarmament – who would we be with nuclear weapons? We’d be like some useless country like Germany
- No child protection agency – little bastards can look after themselves. Spending an afternoon with Uncle Leon never did me any harm.
- No privacy – unless you are rich. What’s your problem if you have nothing to hide?
- No equality – rich need special privileges being the proverbial teat of trickle down economics.
- No foreign companies – unless they deliver nice backhanders in fat brown envelopes
- No free schools – since when did school help the average pleb? You need attitude, not aptitude.
- No free health care – no one’s grateful for something free. Survival of the fittest.
- No Europe – we will negotiate our way out of not just the EU but the continent of Europe and have the British Isles recognized as a continent in its own right
- No excuses – being born British or preferably just born rich anywhere will be the only factor of importance
We want to build a strong Britain, based on British values. We are the British Bastard Party. Show us what you’re made of, Johnny Foreigner!