The DIY Austerity Experiment You Can Do!

Destination_DIY_logoDuring economic recession should a country increase spending or impose austerity?  So who is right in all this?  Economists have been fighting over this for centuries and still we have no answer.  Surely it must be simple?  Do we get out of a recession by cutting spending or increasing spending?  In the post war years Keynes led the way with massive investment programs and there followed the greatest improvement in the lives of working people since mankind was capable of judging such matters.  Friedman and his jolly cohorts then made inroads in the 1970s and Thatcher and Reagan implemented his demented thinking.  The fall of communism in 1990 removed any remaining need for restraint on the part of right-wing zealots and it has been a slippery slide for the 99% ever since.

The Nobel Prize for Economics is not one of the original prizes

The Nobel Prize for Economics is not one of the original prizes

austerityIf economists decorated with Nobel prizes and adept at advanced mathematics have failed to figure this out, then you may think you have no chance of doing so.  But I beg to differ. Get ready to make a difference to the history of mankind!  This is what you need to do:


  1. Next time you lose your job (say tomorrow) then just go home and stay there.
  2. Instruct the rest of your family to do the same.
  3. While sitting at home don’t do anything other that eat enough crap to survive and follow the instructions below.
  4. Get the Monopoly game box that’s been lying in the attic since cable TV, ADHD and Smart Phones were invented.
  5. Remove all the Monopoly money and discard the box.
  6. Decide that you could use this Monopoly money for splitting up household tasks equally among family members.
  7. Read about Milton Friedman and change your mind.
  8. Do not cook, clean, decorate, wash, or care for your elderly parents or handicapped kid – all this costs money.
  9. If forced by the Job Centre to go for a job interview do not repair or wash your clothes before attending aforesaid interview
  10. If you need food or need transport to travel to an interview that would require real money then borrow this money from the IMF or World or European Bank or other loan shark.
  11. Promise aforementioned banks or loan sharks that you will cut even further back on the use of Monopoly money at home in order to pay them back at some time in the future with the great riches you are sure to reap from your austerity plan.
  12. If great riches are not materializing, cut back further, remove food from aged parents and handicapped kid (they can’t fight back). Tell them we’re all in it together. Rinse and repeat.
  13. Bonus feature: Why not use any excess money you may be lumbered with to start a fight with a random neighbour on the other side of town?  Preferably one with an oil well in his garden.
This entry was posted in Economics, Ethics, Poverty, United Kingdom and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to The DIY Austerity Experiment You Can Do!

  1. Pingback: Why do we kill our weakest citizens to control this deficit thing? | A Former Dundee Man

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